Spring Jokes

1. My mother doesn’t believe in spring cleaning.  She believes in year-round cleaning.

2. My husband’s idea of how to deal with cleaning is to put it off until he forgets that I asked him.

3. You know you’re on a diet if you’re doing a lot more drinking and a lot less chewing.

4. I used to be on a liquid diet, but that was before I joined Alcoholics Anonymous.

5. Dieting would be a lot easier if rice cakes and tofu tasted like fried chicken and ice cream.

6. Women are like flowers: once they’re picked by men, it’s not long before their beauty fades, they wilt and then die.  Then men just pick another.

7. Graduation is a time for remembering how lucky you are to have survived all those cafeteria lunches.

8. As you graduate and look around at all your friends, you can be thankful you still have your sanity.

9. I never took my report card too seriously.  Unfortunately, my parents did.

10. I like to look on the bright side.  Since most of my teachers grade on a curve, I’ve got nowhere to go but up.

11. I know it's spring, and you know it's spring.  I just wish someone would tell the snow.

Click here for jokes about winter.

Jokes about Spring coming soon!