Apple Jokes

• When life gives you lemons, it’s hard to make apple pie.

• What do you call twin apples?  Two peas in a pod?

• My house didn’t have forbidden fruit.  Unless you count coconut cream pie as a fruit.

• I think the minister was hungry during his sermon because he was talking about apples being temptations that caused the loss of paradise.

• Have you ever noticed that apples aren’t part of “all-you-can-eat” buffets?  I’ve never heard anybody bragging about how many apples they were able to eat.

• Apples are really a treat…if you’re a horse.

• I found the Big Apple to be pretty seedy.

• I’ve never heard anybody going bananas over apples.

• How is it that cheeks can be compared to apples but when you blush, it’s beet red?

• Do you know who’s best at bobbing for apples?  Guys named Robert.

• Who won the apple pie eating contest at the old folks home?  Granny Smith.

• If it meant what it sounds like, vegging out would be healthier.

• An apple a day sounds like what a model eats.

• The only apples I don’t like are the ones that are rotten to the core.

• I was farm to table long before it was trendy.  It happened when I picked an apple from the orchard and actually waited to eat it until I got home.

• My grandparents had an orchard, and I often went out to pick apples.  The best part was being able to eat the fruits of my labor.

• I used to like apples more before I became the same shape.

• The moral of Snow White is to never eat an apple given to you by a homeless old lady.

• When someone asked me how I like them apples, I answered, “Caramel covered.”

• What do you call an aged fruit?  A wise apple.