I’ll Be Happy When…
When I was 23-years-old, I received a Rotary International Scholarship to study for my Master’s degree in New Zealand, and I had never been that far away from home. While in college, I lived at home, and after graduating, I got an apartment with my best friend not far from where my parents lived.
The gravity of such a long trip really sunk in on my flight, which would take almost 24-hours. I cried pretty much all the way from Dallas to Los Angeles, thinking I was crazy to leave everyone I loved and everything I knew for something so unknown.
After I arrived in New Zealand, I spent some time with my host family who had 4 kids, and not once did I see any of them hug, which was weird to me, since I came from a family of huggers.
Soon I moved into my dorm and found out pretty quickly that Americans weren’t well-liked. One day my three male flatmates were rooting for the Russians to beat the Americans in a hockey game they were watching. When I asked why, they said “anybody but the Americans.” Also, when I tried to get them to explain cricket to me, they informed me that “Americans can’t understand cricket.” I thought, well, not if you don’t explain it to us.
I even had someone start yelling at me in a bar when he found out that I was from the United States. And I had another person say to me, “You’re so quiet for an American.”
Despite all this, New Zealand was beautiful. Every day walking up a steep hill to the university, I would look out over my shoulder at the breathtaking view of the ocean, something you can’t see in Dallas. And I took every opportunity to explore the country and learn about the people and their customs.
I learned you can politely decline to eat cold pumpkin soup at a dinner party, otherwise known as “tea.” Also, I learned that the New Zealand McDonalds would substitute cabbage for lettuce and beets for tomatoes when those aren’t in season. Let me tell you that a soggy bun covered in beet juice is pretty unappetizing.
And if you want ice cream in your milkshake, you have to special request it. They will think you’re crazy, but it’s so good, and it tastes just like home!
While there, I became more outgoing because I had to talk to people to find out where places like the post office were. I also began to be more playful. I remember frolicking on a playground just for the fun of it. (Growing up, I had been a pretty serious child.)
I truly believe my experience changed me for the better. But in the flat opposite to mine was another Rotary International Scholar who spent the whole time she was there worrying that she had made the wrong decision in coming to New Zealand.
She thought maybe she was wasting a year that she could have spent in a more productive way by applying to graduate schools or doing internships back home. No matter how much I tried to convince her that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, she tortured herself and was never happy.
I know that I have fallen prey to the same false statement. It starts, “I will be happy when_____.” You can fill in the blank with anything you want.
I will be happy when I graduate from college. I will be happy when I get a good job. I will be happy when I get married. I will be happy when I have kids. I will be happy when the kids are grown.
Guess what? If you are always going to be happy in the future, you are never happy right now.
As a part of my Rotary obligations, I had to give speeches before I left the US, while I was in New Zealand, and then when I returned home. I remember a big district-wide speech I had to give while I was there. There were at least 100 Rotarians in this big ballroom and just little old me.
I had this well-rehearsed speech prepared about life in the US vs. life in New Zealand, but at the last minute, I threw it out and spoke from my heart.
My speech was about living every moment to the fullest and enjoying what you are doing right now. I talked about throwing out “I will be happy when…” and replacing it with “I am happy now because….” I had more people come up to me after giving that speech and tell me how much it meant to them than any other speech I have ever given.
We have so many things to be grateful for but often we don’t focus on them. Instead, we think about our problems that are keeping us from being happy. But what I believe is that there are always going to be good and bad things that happen. And you have to decide where your focus is going to be.
This is it, today, right now, this moment. There is no guarantee about tomorrow. So stop thinking that tomorrow is going to be better than today. That’s just a recipe for unhappiness.
If you’re having a bad day, find something that will make you happy. Maybe it’s listening to your favorite music, having a meal with a friend, watching a show that makes you laugh, taking a bubble bath. Whatever it is that makes you happy now, do that.
And if you think you can’t because you have to work, find something about your job that you enjoy. Remember, life isn’t about making money. It’s about being happy. Of course there are a lot of people who equate money with happiness, but beyond the need for life’s basics of food and shelter, what else do we really need?
So when you catch yourself saying, “I will be happy when…” change it to “I am happy now because….” Start today enjoying your life right now and be happy!
Joke: “I’m happy because my internet is working even though I’m still unemployed.” —from https://newyorkimprovtheater.com/2024/08/25/20-dad-jokes-about-happiness/
Quote: “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” – Dalai Lama
Advice: Don’t worry; be happy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I HOPE EVERYBODY HAS A GREAT 2025!