Happiness

I just finished reading a book called The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work by Shawn Achor.  This book was recommended to me by my daughter Kristalyn, who has a degree in psychology.  I suspect she just got tired of hearing me complain about everything in my life that I don’t like.  She probably misses the upbeat, happy person I used to be.

I think everyone’s goal in life is to be happy.  I remember distinctly asking one of the students I was tutoring what he wanted to do with his life after he was done with school, and his answer was that he wanted to be an anesthesiologist.  I found this puzzling. Whose dream in life is to put people out for a living?  But then again I can’t figure out why anybody would want to clean other people’s teeth for a living either.  (But I digress…and apologize to all those dental hygienists out there who love their jobs.)

Anyway, back to my student.  I asked him why he wanted to be an anesthesiologist, and he said it was because they make a lot of money.  Then I asked him why he wanted a lot of money, and he said so that he could buy a nice house and car.  So I asked him why he wanted those things, and the answer was because he thought those things would make him happy.  I think if you dig down far enough about why people are motivated to do whatever they do, it’s because they want to be happy.

According to the book I mentioned earlier, people think they will be happy if/when they have success, but that’s wrong.  The reason people are successful is because they are happy.  Here lately I haven’t been particularly happy or successful, and I see that they are inter-related.

One of the things that the book mentioned as causing unhappiness is when we let ourselves feel overwhelmed because of too much work.  I have definitely been feeling that lately.  To combat this feeing, the book suggests working on a small circle of things that are within our control.  I can definitely do that.  They way to dig out of any hole is one scoop at a time.  The big question is where to start when everything in your queue seems to be equally important.  I have decided that the decision about what to start with is above my pay grade.  I’m just going to ask my managers what they want done and then do that.

Another thing that the book mentioned is the importance of social connections in order to be happy.  So I analyzed who was important in my life, and the answer I came up with was friends and family.  I have a fondness for most of my coworkers, but I don’t have the same love for them as I do for the people I just haven’t had the time and energy to see because I have been working so much.  That needs to change, and I need to make time for these people who I really enjoy spending time with.

It seems like the overachiever in me has been prioritizing the wrong things in my life.  I have been putting my job above the things I care more about like my friends, family, and other creative endeavors.  My challenge is to see if I can keep the perspective I just gained on vacation and reduce the stress I feel at work.  I have resolved to just work my 40 hours and let the chips fall where they may.  I will get done what I can get done, and whatever doesn’t get done will just have to wait until another day.  And if the deadline (which I didn’t set) doesn’t get met, then it just wasn’t possible.  I won’t go out of my way to sabotage it, but I don’t want to stress myself out over it either.  I want to do what makes me happy, and my job just isn’t that.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m grateful for my job (gratitude is another point the book makes about what is necessary to be happy).  But I am so much more than what I do, and I need to realize that my worth as a person isn’t related to how much work I can get done.

For all of you reading this, I wish you way less stress and way more happiness.  Thanks for reading and letting me use this as a forum to work through the issues in my life every two to three weeks.

Joke: I’ll stop being late to work as soon as I start wanting to be there. 

Quote:  “Success isn’t the key to happiness.  Happiness is the key to success.  If you love what you are doing, you’ll be successful.” – Daily Inspirational Quotes

Advice:  Do what you need to do to be happy because if you are happy, then you have succeeded.